If you don't know me by now
by Hawaianangelgirl
Summary: After watching the last episode of season 3, I think there were three things missing: some tears, a couple of hugs and definitely a kiss! Just an extra scene for Pain in the heart.


Hello all!

First of all I want to tell you that I will finish my "Blame it on the mistletoe", I will! If I read a fanfic that lasted 4 years to be completed, I guess I will make it in less time!! Maybe in 3 years and 11 months, but I will!! LOL!!

Second… I've just watched the last eppy and gosh… I think there are 3 things that were missing in this episode, and those are tears, hugs and definitely a kiss, real kiss! So, let's try to fix it, shall we? ;-)

Hope you enjoy it!

Gaby

**If you don't know me by now…**

"You did give him something great, Bones…" Booth whispered to his partner after reading her the letter of acceptance she had sent to Zach years before, when he was just another student looking for a place to finish his career. It had broken his heart to see her left the upper platform of the lab where they were looking at the things Hodgins had gathered in a box, feeling she had been a horrible person for not giving Zach any special object. He knew she felt responsible for Zach's crime, she felt had she been friendlier to him, he wouldn't have become a murderer. He could see that guilt in her baby blue eyes, in the tears she had hardly controlled over the past two days, in the way she had her face covered with her hands when he met her in the stairs.

She said nothing, she wasn't ready to reply. She just leaned against his shoulder, and he leaned too, his head falling over hers. He knew her so well that he was quite certain her defenses were totally cracked by now, that since her father's trial she had had to face so many strong emotions that she needed to shed some tears… as much as she refused to.

He moved his arm carefully, allowing her head to still rest on his shoulder but circling her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. She needed to feel she had someone to lean on. He wanted to prove her he was that man.

When he first felt her take the first sharp intake, he knew they needed more privacy. "Let's get you home", he suggested and pulled her up with him.

He observed her long and carefully, just watching how she played with the uneaten half of eggroll that remained in her plate. He had insisted they had Thai take over and eat it in her apartment. He wasn't very hungry himself, but he needed an excuse to be with her. The strong Temperance Brennan was very weak at the moment, and no one knew it better than him. But what worried him more than anything was the silence: when she voiced her concerns, when she tried to explain them in the most rational, scientific way possible, he knew where he was standing, he could recognize her way to deal with fear or anger. When she kept silence, he just couldn't figure her out. He feared she was building up again the walls it had taken him so long to tear down.

He dared to reach his fork to take away the eggroll, in an attempt to make her react. Much to his surprise, she said nothing, not a single word, not a complaint. She just put her fork down. And so did him.

He sighed heavily and leaned against his chair. "You know, Bones, we could actually talk…"

"I don't feel like talking…" she replied in a tone that was half cold and half sad. "I'm sorry, I'm just not hungry…"

She was going to stand up when a hand reached to cover hers and stopped her. "I know. But you need to talk, Bones… You should not keep things to you…"

She didn't move, didn't face him. But Seeley Booth knew her eyes were filling up with hot, sad tears she would fight back with all in her. "I'm here, Bones, you know it…"

She shook her head and only then he saw her eyes. Red, watery, terribly sad. She tried to speak, but it looked like she couldn't find the right words. "I just don't know what to say…" she finally murmured, when her tears were already crossing her cheeks.

When they had become a lot more intimate Booth didn't know, but he reached to cup her cheek and dried her tears with a tender thumb. "These past weeks have been difficult for you… You've been betrayed by your own and I know how hard that hits you … Just tell me what you're thinking right now…" he prodded.

"You betrayed me, Booth…" she said. "That's what I'm thinking…"

He didn't expect that, or at least not at that moment. He knew that her being mad at him was far from gone, but after such a night, after discovering how close a serial killer had been from them, he didn't expect their "argument" was first in the list for her. For a second, he felt like she had hit him again and the air around him became so thick he couldn't breathe. The tear that reached his thumb burned his skin with the depth of the pain he had caused her. He felt totally guilty.

"I've told you I'm so sorry, Bones…" he said keeping his voice as calm as possible.

She pulled away from his touch and stood up, walking up to the window. Booth sighed and forced himself to stand up too. He walked to her and carefully made her turn to face him. His eyes were so sincere that for a moment she wondered why she was still mad at him. "I'm sorry, Bones, I'm sorry not only for not calling you personally, but also for allowing someone else to decide about your feelings. Sweets had no right, but also I didn't have the right to hide from you. I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise".

She knew to what promise he was referring: the one he had made to her in his office, in between vodka shots, when one of the scientists from the Jeffersonian had killed an intern. "I betrayed you, Bones, I betrayed you when I had swear I wouldn't…"

"I believe you when you say you asked I should be informed about your fake death. I know Sweets is the one I should be mad at, but…" her voice was trembling, "I just can't help…"

He reached his inside pocket and handled her a piece of paper. She unfolded it carefully, blinking repeatedly when she read what was there: on top of the list of the people that should be informed about his underground mission, above his parents, above Rebecca and Parker, there was her full name, Dr. Temperance Brennan, written in a shaky handwriting, obviously due to his being convalescent. "You were the first one on the list, Bones," he said with such utter sincerity in his voice that she felt her anger fly away. "The first person I thought that should know about me not being dead… were you".

It was all she could take. The way he was looking at her was so powerful and so sincere that it scared her, and at the same time it filled her with a warm sensation that ran all along her body. She didn't think twice before throwing herself into his strong arms, her head resting in the nape of his neck. He could feel her interrupted breathing caressing his skin, her sobs reaching his heart just like the very rare times he had seen her cry. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, needing the contact just as much as she needed it. He hadn't realized how much he too had resented all the events of the past weeks until he had Temperance in his arms.

"I was certain you knew, Bones, otherwise I wouldn't have cared about protocols, nor I would've used the phone. I would've come here, in person, to tell you I was okay and alive", he said in a low, husky voice. His face was half buried in her hair so he could inhale the scent of her shampoo. "I do care for you, Temperance… much more than you can think".

The use of her first name did her, the serious, solemn tone in one single word told her so much of the man that said that name. She tightened her hold on him, feeling with all in her the peace the warmth of Booth's body gave her. It was a strange yet pleasant feeling, and she was getting used to it. When she first felt embarrassed of hugging Booth when she got scared, lately she had discovered herself longing to feel him close, even being her the one to reach and touch him.

"I couldn't believe you were dead, Booth…" she murmured still from her place in his arms. "Those two weeks were…"

"… so hard", he finished for her. Only then did they pull apart, just to lock their eyes again. "It didn't feel right…"

"Sweets is wrong, you know?" Brennan said, with a trembling voice. "I'm not able to rationalize everything as he thinks! I'm not cold! I did cry, Booth! I did cry for you! Your death…" her tears kept on crossing her cheeks, "… seemed so irrational, so unfair…"

"Temperance…" Booth replied crossing the little distance between them and reaching to cup her face once again. She slowly looked up and met his eyes, and as other times, it absolutely took his breath away to see the mix of pain and trust in his partner's eyes. "I know you're not cold. I know you… maybe much more than you think… I swore I wouldn't betray you, and believe me, I did not… I'd give up my life for you, and that's the only way they would make me leave your side…"

Brennan felt the last pieces of her resistance falling apart. She knew he was right: the only single person that knew her completely, that knew her mind and her heart and could read her like no one else could was Seeley Booth. Her partner. Her friend. Her soul mate. Three years. They've been partners for three years, and only now she could see how deep their relationship had grown up. After two weeks of thinking she had lost him forever, she realized there was no more "Booth" and "Brennan" separated: they have become one team that could not be torn apart, she could not think of her life without him. And this scared her to death.

"I know you'd die for me Booth…" she murmured, leaning lightly against his palm. "I'd die for you too… I've killed for you… but…"

He knew what was coming next: she was going to say she was scared and she was afraid of being dependant on someone other than her, someone that could eventually leave her too. So he didn't give her time to go on, he didn't give her time to think and rationalize the situation even more. He erased the remaining distance between them and did the only thing he could think of at the moment. He kissed her. He tenderly sought her lips with his, a kiss that was not just full of passion or desire, but of pure love.

And she kissed him back.

She didn't want to think about what they were doing. For once in a while she just let herself go with the wave of relief she had felt the moment the lips of her partner had touched hers. He was alive, he was there for her, she was not letting him go again.

Booth feared her reaction after the kiss, yet he knew it was worth whatever she did after that, no matter if she knocked him down again like she had done in his "funeral". He never expected to see her eyes shining so bright and so… happy.

"Never, ever leave me again, Booth…" Temperance said, her hand tenderly stroking his face. "I wouldn't bear…"

He reached to take her hand and kissed her palm lovingly, before he fixed his eyes in hers, seriousness filling his gaze. "I will never leave you, Temperance Brennan. You can only doubt this if you don't know me by now…"

A lonely tear ran along her cheek once more, but that was the last tear she'd shed that night. Booth was there for her and would be there as long as he had time over this Earth. He knew he didn't need more words to convince his partner of the depth of his feelings. Three years had been more than enough. And they had a lot more time ahead.

He reached to kiss her forehead lovingly and pulled her into another tight hug, this time feeling with all in them the new turn in the events of their story together.

The end

(of season 3, in my own interpretation of the events!)


End file.
